I wonder how many people suffer from stress. I'm not talking about one specific stress. I mean all kinds of stress in general. Like stress from their children, work, and even sports teams. But the stress that I want to focus on right now is the stress that comes from college. This may be interesting to others so I don't think that I'm on an island on this one.
College, for me, has its highs and lows. It the best time of your life when it is in the highs. But when it comes times for test like "midterms" it can be a living hell. Many suffer from stress from these knd of things. I know that I do becuase I have gone crazy in this week alone during midterms. And it wasn't only this time around. I can remember clearly last year when it came time for midterms and finals. I was going crazy because of all the reading and studying that had to be done. I can imagine what it would be like if I was a science major or something of that nature.
I would really like to know how to relieve some of this. I tried listening to music and other things lke that. But it doesn't really work. All I know is that by the end of my college career I am going to find out how to make things easier during midterms and finals
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Report #2
Divorce
Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)
Rather than giving my point of view of how I see divorce, I decided to go out and see how others feel about this topic. Divorce is a very sensitive issue, so I had to find the correct person for the job. It took me a couple days, but a friend that I have met in my first year of school was up for the task. His name is Mark and his parents have been divorced since he was an infant. To be exact, they got divorced to when he was only three months old. Due to the fact that he was only 3 months old when this occurred, I had to restrict some of the questions which I thought were the most important.
I began by asking Mark how his life has been affected by his parents’ divorce. He answered by saying, “You basically have to listen to one person. You can only get one opinion, and that’s from the person that you live with. I think that it totally contradicts what a family should be. In a family, both parents have a say on what the regulations should be and how the rules should be set.” Mark also claimed that when parents a divorced there are always certain changes. You get to see how different both of the parents are. Mark says, “My mom is the total opposite from my dad. If I like something, no matter the price, my mom would say that its mine and she would get it for me. Now on the other hand, if I was with my dad it would be totally different. If I liked something and I wanted it, I would need the approval of my dad because if he doesn’t like it then there isn’t a good chance of me getting that. I then decided to ask him if the divorce was best for both of his parents. When I asked him that he quickly responded with a Yes. At a time, he went to live with his dad for a while and said that it wasn’t the same as living with his mother. He said that it was easier adapting with his mother because it is much easier to get along with her. When parents are divorced and no longer live with each other, it is hard for them to get together for occasions for their children. There is a weird vibe between both of them and the outcome isn’t usually good. Mark told me a story of how his parents weren’t getting along at his high school graduation, and literally made it a “living hell” for him. From past experiences, it is safe to say that I and many others can relate to this.
Usually in a divorce the mother gets custody of the children. In Mark’s case, this was true for him. He says that he was better off living with his mother because they have a great relationship and it is very easy for them to get along with each other. His mother is very open with him and he feels that if he were to live with his father, things wouldn’t be same.
The final question that I had for Mark was one that I think is very important. I asked him how his parents felt about each other. At first he hesitated, but finally answered by saying, “I think that my dad has some issues about the way that my mother raises. He feels that my mother is doing wrong by buying me all of the things that she buys me. But my mother doesn’t care and she says that the way she raises me is the right way. My mother and I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with my father, so right now I’m fine with the way that I’m living.
After finding out how Mark felt about these things, I decided to go out and interview someone whose parents are not divorced. I really wanted to get the best of both worlds and this was the way to do it. The person who I interviewed was a good cousin of mine named John. John and I have been best friends since the day that we were born. But I never really knew how he felt about his parents (not in a negative way) and this was the best time for to find out. As I mentioned before his parents are currently together with four kids. So I asked John how his relationship was with both of his parents. He answered by saying, “I think that I have the best parents in the world. They are great people and I can’t see myself living without both of them. I don’t want to know what it would be like if they were to get a divorce because it would be very hard on me.” John says that his parents get along great. He knows that they have a lot of love for each other just by the way the act around the house. While laughing he said that he can always feel the love in the house when they are home. Like my friend Mark said, a good relationship is found where two people are able to talk with each other and both of them are considerate of each other. This is what John’s parents do best and it might be the reason that they are so happy and not divorced.
I then decided to go out on a limb, and I asked him how things would change if his parents were to get divorced. “If they were to get divorced, my family would not be able to function right. My brothers and I would be lost without one of them” he replied. This doesn’t always happen when parents get divorced but there is still a good chance of this happening. He summed it all up by saying that he feels bad for families who are divorced. He says that he just can’t see one parent raising a child or children the same way both parents can.
Doing this interview opened my eyes for me. I was so narrow headed before, thinking that divorce wasn’t necessary. I thought that if two people got married and had children during their marriage divorce was totally out of the picture. By these to gentlemen showed me that divorce is necessary in some situations. When my parents got divorced I immediately blamed it on one of the parents. I’m not going to mention which parent it was but I can’t lie that I held a grudge on one of them for a very long time. It was wrong to do that but now I know that people get divorce for the better of things. My parents got divorced because they weren’t happy with each other anymore. Why would you be with someone that doesn’t make you happy anymore? I finally see what happened between both of them and I am very disappointed that it took me this long to realize it. But I can’t be mad at myself because you live and you learn. The older you get the wiser you get. I guess that I was just being hard headed before because I knew that I wouldn’t see my father as much as I used too.
Basically, the reason I decided to write this report on divorce was because I don’t really talk about it with others. I feel that I had to get all of this off my chest and share it with other people. By the way I’m writing it may seem like I’m just feeling bad for myself. You should now the answer and if you don’t know it’s, that I’m not feeling bad for myself. I know that there are tons of kids that are in my shoes and maybe if they read this, some way it can help them out. Hopefully if I ever get married and have kids, I don’t want my kids to go through what I have gone through.
Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)
Rather than giving my point of view of how I see divorce, I decided to go out and see how others feel about this topic. Divorce is a very sensitive issue, so I had to find the correct person for the job. It took me a couple days, but a friend that I have met in my first year of school was up for the task. His name is Mark and his parents have been divorced since he was an infant. To be exact, they got divorced to when he was only three months old. Due to the fact that he was only 3 months old when this occurred, I had to restrict some of the questions which I thought were the most important.
I began by asking Mark how his life has been affected by his parents’ divorce. He answered by saying, “You basically have to listen to one person. You can only get one opinion, and that’s from the person that you live with. I think that it totally contradicts what a family should be. In a family, both parents have a say on what the regulations should be and how the rules should be set.” Mark also claimed that when parents a divorced there are always certain changes. You get to see how different both of the parents are. Mark says, “My mom is the total opposite from my dad. If I like something, no matter the price, my mom would say that its mine and she would get it for me. Now on the other hand, if I was with my dad it would be totally different. If I liked something and I wanted it, I would need the approval of my dad because if he doesn’t like it then there isn’t a good chance of me getting that. I then decided to ask him if the divorce was best for both of his parents. When I asked him that he quickly responded with a Yes. At a time, he went to live with his dad for a while and said that it wasn’t the same as living with his mother. He said that it was easier adapting with his mother because it is much easier to get along with her. When parents are divorced and no longer live with each other, it is hard for them to get together for occasions for their children. There is a weird vibe between both of them and the outcome isn’t usually good. Mark told me a story of how his parents weren’t getting along at his high school graduation, and literally made it a “living hell” for him. From past experiences, it is safe to say that I and many others can relate to this.
Usually in a divorce the mother gets custody of the children. In Mark’s case, this was true for him. He says that he was better off living with his mother because they have a great relationship and it is very easy for them to get along with each other. His mother is very open with him and he feels that if he were to live with his father, things wouldn’t be same.
The final question that I had for Mark was one that I think is very important. I asked him how his parents felt about each other. At first he hesitated, but finally answered by saying, “I think that my dad has some issues about the way that my mother raises. He feels that my mother is doing wrong by buying me all of the things that she buys me. But my mother doesn’t care and she says that the way she raises me is the right way. My mother and I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with my father, so right now I’m fine with the way that I’m living.
After finding out how Mark felt about these things, I decided to go out and interview someone whose parents are not divorced. I really wanted to get the best of both worlds and this was the way to do it. The person who I interviewed was a good cousin of mine named John. John and I have been best friends since the day that we were born. But I never really knew how he felt about his parents (not in a negative way) and this was the best time for to find out. As I mentioned before his parents are currently together with four kids. So I asked John how his relationship was with both of his parents. He answered by saying, “I think that I have the best parents in the world. They are great people and I can’t see myself living without both of them. I don’t want to know what it would be like if they were to get a divorce because it would be very hard on me.” John says that his parents get along great. He knows that they have a lot of love for each other just by the way the act around the house. While laughing he said that he can always feel the love in the house when they are home. Like my friend Mark said, a good relationship is found where two people are able to talk with each other and both of them are considerate of each other. This is what John’s parents do best and it might be the reason that they are so happy and not divorced.
I then decided to go out on a limb, and I asked him how things would change if his parents were to get divorced. “If they were to get divorced, my family would not be able to function right. My brothers and I would be lost without one of them” he replied. This doesn’t always happen when parents get divorced but there is still a good chance of this happening. He summed it all up by saying that he feels bad for families who are divorced. He says that he just can’t see one parent raising a child or children the same way both parents can.
Doing this interview opened my eyes for me. I was so narrow headed before, thinking that divorce wasn’t necessary. I thought that if two people got married and had children during their marriage divorce was totally out of the picture. By these to gentlemen showed me that divorce is necessary in some situations. When my parents got divorced I immediately blamed it on one of the parents. I’m not going to mention which parent it was but I can’t lie that I held a grudge on one of them for a very long time. It was wrong to do that but now I know that people get divorce for the better of things. My parents got divorced because they weren’t happy with each other anymore. Why would you be with someone that doesn’t make you happy anymore? I finally see what happened between both of them and I am very disappointed that it took me this long to realize it. But I can’t be mad at myself because you live and you learn. The older you get the wiser you get. I guess that I was just being hard headed before because I knew that I wouldn’t see my father as much as I used too.
Basically, the reason I decided to write this report on divorce was because I don’t really talk about it with others. I feel that I had to get all of this off my chest and share it with other people. By the way I’m writing it may seem like I’m just feeling bad for myself. You should now the answer and if you don’t know it’s, that I’m not feeling bad for myself. I know that there are tons of kids that are in my shoes and maybe if they read this, some way it can help them out. Hopefully if I ever get married and have kids, I don’t want my kids to go through what I have gone through.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Divorce Questions
Divorce Interview
Q.How has having your parents divorced affected your lifestyle?
A.You only have opinion one person to make the rules and law down the law which contrast to married parents where they have to comprise rules and regulations.
Q.Did you see any dramatic changes when they did get divorced?
A.There’s is a lot of changes. Both parents are different people. Mom is like, if you like it that I don’t care…but Dad is like if you like and he doesn’t like then he won’t get it for you.
Q.Do you think that they were better off getting divorced? If yes why?
A.Yes. because after visiting my dad and living with him for a little I can adapt better with mom because I can adapt better with my mom and I can get along much better with her. I know they can’t get along at all. My graduation was hell because they can’t get along at all.
Q.With whom do you currently live with? How is your relationship with that person? How is your relationship with the parent that you don’t live with?
A.Currently live with my mom. Both get along great…Great time with each other and be very open with each because we are able to tell each other everything.
Q.How do both of your parents feel about each other at the time? What is there relationship like?
A.I think that my dad sees issues about the way she raises me like buying things and my mom knows that it is better that I live with her because she knows that I wouldn’t be able to live with him.
Q.How has having your parents divorced affected your lifestyle?
A.You only have opinion one person to make the rules and law down the law which contrast to married parents where they have to comprise rules and regulations.
Q.Did you see any dramatic changes when they did get divorced?
A.There’s is a lot of changes. Both parents are different people. Mom is like, if you like it that I don’t care…but Dad is like if you like and he doesn’t like then he won’t get it for you.
Q.Do you think that they were better off getting divorced? If yes why?
A.Yes. because after visiting my dad and living with him for a little I can adapt better with mom because I can adapt better with my mom and I can get along much better with her. I know they can’t get along at all. My graduation was hell because they can’t get along at all.
Q.With whom do you currently live with? How is your relationship with that person? How is your relationship with the parent that you don’t live with?
A.Currently live with my mom. Both get along great…Great time with each other and be very open with each because we are able to tell each other everything.
Q.How do both of your parents feel about each other at the time? What is there relationship like?
A.I think that my dad sees issues about the way she raises me like buying things and my mom knows that it is better that I live with her because she knows that I wouldn’t be able to live with him.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Boredom
Sometimes I just get really bored. It may sound kind of weird right now but I felt like I had to talk about this. I get bored a lot, especially now that I am in college. I feel like at times, I just have to much time on my side. But in actuality, I have work to be done, but I can always get that done anytime.
Like this past weekend. I think almost everyone that I know who goes to St. John's went home for the weekend. That was the worst because, I was stuck here basically by myself with nothing to do. But one of my friends did stay here and that was cool of him. I mean its kind of hard to go out when its only you and one of your friends. It's just a better time when you go out with the whole crew. The atmosphere is just ten times better.
Back to the boredom thing. I just never been so bored ever since i have come to college. Sometimes I wish that all of my friends from home can come to this school because I can't remember being this bored when I was at home.
Like this past weekend. I think almost everyone that I know who goes to St. John's went home for the weekend. That was the worst because, I was stuck here basically by myself with nothing to do. But one of my friends did stay here and that was cool of him. I mean its kind of hard to go out when its only you and one of your friends. It's just a better time when you go out with the whole crew. The atmosphere is just ten times better.
Back to the boredom thing. I just never been so bored ever since i have come to college. Sometimes I wish that all of my friends from home can come to this school because I can't remember being this bored when I was at home.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Divorce
Divorce
Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
It was a whole process before the divorce actually happened. You saw certain things around the house change. These things consisted of your parents coming home from work in bad moods more often. You hear and sometimes see them fight with each other for things that little children would fight over. At times your parents would not even say a word to each other for days and still act like everything alright. The one that would often amaze me was when I would ask one my parents about the other and they would reply by saying, “I don’t really care about what he/she does.” When you hear something like that as I young teenager, I don’t know if you take that as a joke or as something going terribly wrong is your house. So in fact I took it as something going terribly wrong.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)
Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
It was a whole process before the divorce actually happened. You saw certain things around the house change. These things consisted of your parents coming home from work in bad moods more often. You hear and sometimes see them fight with each other for things that little children would fight over. At times your parents would not even say a word to each other for days and still act like everything alright. The one that would often amaze me was when I would ask one my parents about the other and they would reply by saying, “I don’t really care about what he/she does.” When you hear something like that as I young teenager, I don’t know if you take that as a joke or as something going terribly wrong is your house. So in fact I took it as something going terribly wrong.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)
High VS. Low Conflict Marriages
People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics. (High vs. Low Conflict Marriages
People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics.(http://www.flc.org/hfl/marriage/mar-flf03.htm)
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics. (High vs. Low Conflict Marriages
People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics.(http://www.flc.org/hfl/marriage/mar-flf03.htm)
Divorce
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse.
It can be contrasted with an annulment, which is a declaration that a marriage is void, though the effects of marriage may be recognized in such unions, such as spousal support or Alimony, child custody, child support, and distribution of property.
In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the states in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union, with the exception of Malta (where all civil marriages are for life, because civil divorce is banned). In the USA, Canada, the United Kingdom, and some other developed Commonwealth countries, this divorce boom developed in the last half of the twentieth century. In addition, acceptance of the single-parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. Japan retains a markedly lower divorce rate, though it has increased in recent years. The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology.
A divorce must be certified by a court of law, as a legal action is needed to dissolve the prior legal act of marriage. The terms of the divorce are also determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses have agreed on privately. Often, however, the spouses disagree about the terms of the divorce, which can lead to stressful (and expensive) litigation. A less adversarial approach to divorce settlements has emerged in recent years, known as mediation, an attempt to negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce)
It can be contrasted with an annulment, which is a declaration that a marriage is void, though the effects of marriage may be recognized in such unions, such as spousal support or Alimony, child custody, child support, and distribution of property.
In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the states in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union, with the exception of Malta (where all civil marriages are for life, because civil divorce is banned). In the USA, Canada, the United Kingdom, and some other developed Commonwealth countries, this divorce boom developed in the last half of the twentieth century. In addition, acceptance of the single-parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. Japan retains a markedly lower divorce rate, though it has increased in recent years. The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology.
A divorce must be certified by a court of law, as a legal action is needed to dissolve the prior legal act of marriage. The terms of the divorce are also determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses have agreed on privately. Often, however, the spouses disagree about the terms of the divorce, which can lead to stressful (and expensive) litigation. A less adversarial approach to divorce settlements has emerged in recent years, known as mediation, an attempt to negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Research Plan
We finally get a chance to actually pick what we as students want to do as students and not the teacher. I'm not saying that teachers choose bad assignments, but I think that the students have a lot of creativity and it also helps out when we do something that we actually like. So here we are, we're at the stage where we can finally pick our own research assignment.
I would like to write about something that interests me. The only problem with that, isn't that I have a lot of things that interest me and it's hard to narrow it down. But I can saw that I really like writing about myself. (Not to sound conceited or anything of that nature) But I feel that I can write a lot about myself because everything is about me.
With writing about my personal experiences i still have some things that I can't really answer at the time. Things like, where am I going to be in the matter of 6 years. Other things like, if I were to change the way I live life right now, what will my outlook on life be like. Even though I have these questions right now, a little later on I will have more questions that can eventually help me out on this research. I've written some things in my journals about my life, but nothing that was in much detail. I mean I don't think that I can make a whole assignment about my name. So as of right now, I don't that the journal is going to help me that much. (It might help me out in the future.
Basically, if I had to assign the research assignment right now I wouldn't be able to pick one. I mean i guess I'm on the right path with having to write something about my life. But we'll see what happens.
I would like to write about something that interests me. The only problem with that, isn't that I have a lot of things that interest me and it's hard to narrow it down. But I can saw that I really like writing about myself. (Not to sound conceited or anything of that nature) But I feel that I can write a lot about myself because everything is about me.
With writing about my personal experiences i still have some things that I can't really answer at the time. Things like, where am I going to be in the matter of 6 years. Other things like, if I were to change the way I live life right now, what will my outlook on life be like. Even though I have these questions right now, a little later on I will have more questions that can eventually help me out on this research. I've written some things in my journals about my life, but nothing that was in much detail. I mean I don't think that I can make a whole assignment about my name. So as of right now, I don't that the journal is going to help me that much. (It might help me out in the future.
Basically, if I had to assign the research assignment right now I wouldn't be able to pick one. I mean i guess I'm on the right path with having to write something about my life. But we'll see what happens.
Monday, February 12, 2007
I just never learn
I just never learn do I. I can't even laugh at this anymore because it just seems to get worse and worse. So here is what happened or what happened again. I currently live in New Jersey, and for some reason I like throwing parties at my house. Well, it's not exactly my house but I live there. So anyways, occasionally I throw parties for my friends and I just to have a good time and be together for awhile since we are all in college. By now it sounds sort of innocent and nothing can really go that bad. But not for me.
Let see, I decided to throw a party for my friend Matt because he turning nineteen (that was just another excuse for me to throw a party). Now I planned just have to have a maximum of 25 people in my mother's house. That went well for a couple hours until a herd of people started to come into the house. At first I let it go because everything was going well, even though there was about 60 people in the house. Then out of nowhere these group of kids just starting talking loudly to each other and saying some bad words. So I immediately ran up to them and tried to break it up. I succeeded, then as I walked away the kids starting to fight in the house. I had all of my boys and I break it up and we just threw them outside (literally). You would think that everything would be OK since you know, we kicked them out. But what had happened was that they started to fight outside. I went out there to break it up myself but I saw a kid with a bottle about to hit another kid with it. And he did hit him. Immediately after that the police came, broke it up, and then they rang on my door.
When I opened my door there were like three cops and they came in and scoped out the whole place. They didn't find anything wrong because we cleaned up the whole entire house in the matter of 5 minutes. After I gave him the entire story I was smacked with a summons for $500 for underage drinking and Disturbing the Peace. This will be continued soon, I just do not know when.
Let see, I decided to throw a party for my friend Matt because he turning nineteen (that was just another excuse for me to throw a party). Now I planned just have to have a maximum of 25 people in my mother's house. That went well for a couple hours until a herd of people started to come into the house. At first I let it go because everything was going well, even though there was about 60 people in the house. Then out of nowhere these group of kids just starting talking loudly to each other and saying some bad words. So I immediately ran up to them and tried to break it up. I succeeded, then as I walked away the kids starting to fight in the house. I had all of my boys and I break it up and we just threw them outside (literally). You would think that everything would be OK since you know, we kicked them out. But what had happened was that they started to fight outside. I went out there to break it up myself but I saw a kid with a bottle about to hit another kid with it. And he did hit him. Immediately after that the police came, broke it up, and then they rang on my door.
When I opened my door there were like three cops and they came in and scoped out the whole place. They didn't find anything wrong because we cleaned up the whole entire house in the matter of 5 minutes. After I gave him the entire story I was smacked with a summons for $500 for underage drinking and Disturbing the Peace. This will be continued soon, I just do not know when.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Video Games
Yeah, I was told to blog often so I decided to blog something. I was actually having a hard time trying to figure out exactly what to write. So I went around, I even decided to ask my roommates if they had any ideas on topics to write about. So they told me, "Alex, write about something that you like doing a lot." I thought about it for a while and I decided to write about something that I really love. It's a fact, I love video games.
Now just because I say that I love video games, that doesn't mean that I am addicted to it. I like playing because I can get my mind of everything else (especially school) and I can waste a lot of time. By wasting time I mean that the day goes by faster. Because for some reason in college, some of the days tend to drag drastically. And I found a way to fix it by playing video games.
The system that I enjoy most is the Sony Playstation 2. I like it more than the XBox because playstation's controller is so much more easy to handle. At first, when the XBox came out the controller was huge. I was barely able to hit the buttons without looking down at it. But of course, the new XBox 360 came out and the controller is much smaller and better to handle. This still doesn't mean that I like the system but I will stick with my playstation.
I recently have the playstation 2, but during this semester in college I fell in love with a new system. That system is called the Playstation 3 and I need it badly. Now it might sound like I'm crazy, but it is the greatest thing out there. I was introduced to it by one of my friends who lives in my building. From the instant that I played it I quickly fell in love with it. The graphics are incredible and as soon as you play it you are hooked on it. An example of being hooked on this system will be, myself. I can be in class, and all that I think of is just getting back to Donovan and playing for hours. Now don't get it twisted, I still get my work done but I play Playstation a lot.
I might continue on this topic but right now I'm going to end it with that.
Now just because I say that I love video games, that doesn't mean that I am addicted to it. I like playing because I can get my mind of everything else (especially school) and I can waste a lot of time. By wasting time I mean that the day goes by faster. Because for some reason in college, some of the days tend to drag drastically. And I found a way to fix it by playing video games.
The system that I enjoy most is the Sony Playstation 2. I like it more than the XBox because playstation's controller is so much more easy to handle. At first, when the XBox came out the controller was huge. I was barely able to hit the buttons without looking down at it. But of course, the new XBox 360 came out and the controller is much smaller and better to handle. This still doesn't mean that I like the system but I will stick with my playstation.
I recently have the playstation 2, but during this semester in college I fell in love with a new system. That system is called the Playstation 3 and I need it badly. Now it might sound like I'm crazy, but it is the greatest thing out there. I was introduced to it by one of my friends who lives in my building. From the instant that I played it I quickly fell in love with it. The graphics are incredible and as soon as you play it you are hooked on it. An example of being hooked on this system will be, myself. I can be in class, and all that I think of is just getting back to Donovan and playing for hours. Now don't get it twisted, I still get my work done but I play Playstation a lot.
I might continue on this topic but right now I'm going to end it with that.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Things that help me write
It's safe to say that this finding print objects to help me write was kind of hard. It's hard because I'm not much of a writer so I couldn't really find things that can motivate me to write. I can't sit here and say that I searched all over because I didn't. But in fact I just sat down for a few minutes and thought about it what type of environment I am in when I'm writing. After those couple of minutes it finally came to me. I like writing while some type of music playing. It can be any kind of music (not including country music) especially some jazz.
I don't know what it is but music just has that power to help me write. Now that I think of it, I actually have a hard time writing without music. Some may say that it is kind of weird that music doesn't distract me, but in fact it doesn't at all. Other people may like their peace and quiet while they are doing there work but not me. If I were to write something in silence I think that I would go nuts. It's kind of like I need a distraction just so I can concentrate. It sounds weird but for me it's the only way I can write. So i don't know, maybe you should try one time and see how it works out for you.
I don't know what it is but music just has that power to help me write. Now that I think of it, I actually have a hard time writing without music. Some may say that it is kind of weird that music doesn't distract me, but in fact it doesn't at all. Other people may like their peace and quiet while they are doing there work but not me. If I were to write something in silence I think that I would go nuts. It's kind of like I need a distraction just so I can concentrate. It sounds weird but for me it's the only way I can write. So i don't know, maybe you should try one time and see how it works out for you.
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