High VS. Low Conflict Marriages

People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics. (High vs. Low Conflict Marriages
People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics.(http://www.flc.org/hfl/marriage/mar-flf03.htm)