Fulfilling The American Dream

Fulfilling the American Dream

It was never brought up to my attention, but there are a lot of different ways that people view the American Dream. Some look at the American Dream as having some type of success, while others see it as having a very nice car along with a nice house. This is what most people around the world would like to have. Or is it? I thought that having nice things were what everyone should want. Yet, after I’ve done this report on this Dream I see that I was misinformed.

Since there has been so many ways to define the American Dream, I tried to find some similar definitions of it. Though I found some similarities I also came up with different approaches of it too. As mentioned before, the most common way of viewing the American Dream is basically having some type of success that includes: having a nice car, nice house, and being able to live comfortably. On the contrary, others saw the American Dream as having a steady job and being able to pay their bills at the end of every month. This perception of the dream is found mostly in those who aren’t citizens of the United States. These people may come from poorer countries, maybe third world countries where they either are in and out of work, or have never been able to get the opportunity to work. On September 17, 1859 Abe Lincoln gave a speech in Dayton, Ohio noting what any individual can do under the United States government. Lincoln mentions, “This progress by which the poor, honest, industrious, and resolute man raises himself, that he may work on his own account, and hire somebody else, is that improvement in condition that human nature is entitled to, is that improvement that is intended to be secured by those institutions under which we live, is the great principle for which this government was formed.”

All though I got some basic definitions of the dream I still wasn’t satisfied with the answers that I received. I find it odd that people see the American Dream differently. Wealth, power, and respect are the three things that I thought everyone wanted in the world. At least I thought that until now. To further enhance my quest for the way people see this dream, I decided to look at a demographic that can be considered the future of our world. This specific group of people can be found in your basic universities and colleges. I’m talking about college students, who you would think are trying to better themselves in life for some particular reason. To succeed in this task I decided to make a survey filled with questions that can pick at these college students brains. Though the survey wasn’t that much entailed, I was able to get some good answers out of these kids.

The class that I specifically wanted to reach out to first was the freshman class. It would be better to see how students, who are in their first year of a new life, view their goals and dreams. Choosing this class was a benefit because I was able to talk to kids that thought that they wanted success; due to the fact that they think it may be a way to live a happy life. As a freshman you haven’t really experienced the world and how it works, so you go off with what you’ve been accustomed to. These customs may consist of seeing how successful your parents are or even how well some of these television stars are living their lives. After all of these factors, I want to see how the college life has changed these student’s minds on how they view the American Dream.

Following the reasons of my research, I went out and began by asking the first questions. The first question in the interview was given to my roommate who’s and English major. I asked him was if making a lot of money was important in his life. He answered, “Well, I don’t think that making money isn’t really that important. I mean I’m planning to leave school with an English degree, which probably means that I’ll be an English teacher.” His answer didn’t really answer my question but I didn’t bother and continued with the interview. Since I didn’t get the answer that I wanted I asked him if he thought that college was necessary to live a good life, economically. Out of nowhere he snapped out of his bed and said that he is probably going to be an English teacher. “Teachers in general don’t get paid that much so why would I care if I make a lot money. Once again, he didn’t answer my question but I’m getting some ideas that college doesn’t always help you end up with large amounts of money.

After asking my roommate the questions I still wasn’t satisfied with the answers. I made more copies of the questions that I had asked my roommate and I handed them out to four more students. This time, instead of an actual interview I constructed a ten question survey. I found this to be much easier and at the same time I can get a more specific yes or no answer.

Out of the four students, two of them said that making a lot of money is important in life. Three students out of the four claimed that they believed being successful was a key aspect in life. In receiving these answers I wasn’t really surprised because most of the students who are in college today are looking for great success. Finally, I asked the infamous question “Do you think that the American Dream consists of being successful with attaining things like a good amount of money and a nice car?” Again, three out of the four students answered yes. Using the survey was a way for me to find a majority of people that see the American Dream as I see it.

Though it was not the end of my journey, I decided to move from such a constricted area. By this I meant that I wanted to look further in depth to see what other demographics see the American Dream as. Usually you here wonderful stories of foreigners who have came from nothing in their countries and some how came to America finding great success. At first, it was hard for me to find someone to interview. I found it hard to find someone because I never really knew a person from another country that had come from nothing to make something. The answer was right under my nose. A person that had come from practically dirt to marble floors is my own mother.

Her name is Maria Batista and she came from the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is found in the Caribbean and where she lived the first sixteen years of her life wasn’t a place to go on vacation. She lived in a house with nine brothers and sisters, and of course both of her parents. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that she was horribly poor, but just being able to eat every night were her family’s main concern. By having some knowledge of all this, I was able to interview her because her background and her present was a perfect match for what I was looking for.

Without further delay, I sat down with Maria and began the interview. The first question that I asked was what she thought the American Dream was. She answered by saying, “The American Dream is to be able to live in this country with freedom to do almost what ever makes you happy. It is to get an education in order to have an excellent career so that one can be able to buy a house and have a beautiful family.” She answered the question very well, while both aiding my view and at the same time having similar opinions of others. Since she agreed with other people about the American Dream I asked her what she thought other people saw the American Dream as. She replied, “Well, I feel that every individual person has a different view on the American Dream. Most feel the same way I do, which is to have many great opportunities in life, become successful in anything that you do, and simply have a good life.” She added that others may think that the American Dream is just about being rich, being able to drive a Mercedes Benz, and living life with no worries. Without a doubt in her mind she believes that life isn’t all about material things such as those just mentioned.

Further into the interview, I began asking her questions of her past. The question that I had for her stated: “When you lived in the Dominican Republic, how did you think the American Dream would change your life?” She loves talking about her native country so she was glad in answering this question. She replied by saying that she truly felt America would have many opportunities for her to live a better life than the one she was living in her country. Knowing that there was a better education system, health, employment, and basically a better life was a reason she was excited to go to America to live the dream. Therefore, she immigrated to the land of opportunity because she needed all of those things in order to live the life she always wanted.

Once again I found a person that shares some of my and other’s views. It’s the best of both worlds, but I still wanted to know how a person thinks that anyone can live the American Dream. In the interview with my mother, I asked her this question and she said that anyone can do whatever they want as long as they put all of their heart into it. After a few minutes of trying to convince her to answer the question she answered by saying that every person can achieve this dream as long as they put all their heart, effort, and sacrifice into it. Many people believe that if a person truly wants something that can definitely get it. It doesn’t matter where you come from, anyone can attain the American Dream. “I do believe that all people all truly equal and have the same potential to get their dream.” (Maria Batista)

Another person that believes in hard work and self determination is Antonio Moulton. Antonio is my father, who today owns his own travel agency and is someone who sees the American Dream as having success. He preaches that the easiest way to be able to live the American Dream is to be positive, persistent, and to be honest with yourself. No matter what a person goes through, you must never quit and never lose determination at any time. During the interview, I asked him if people ever get lucky in achieving the great dream. “I personally do not believe in good luck, but in working hard and being dedicated to that something that you want,” says Antonio. Antonio has always been a hard worker in his life. You can see his hard work by looking at his grades in high school, which were straight A’s throughout his entire high school career. Other than looking for the easiest ways for the American Dream and the luck that goes with it, I wanted to see how he really felt about the dream. I asked him if he was happy that he was living the American Dream. He said, “I am incredibly happy that I am living the American Dream, and I also believe that if you can live the dream you will inevitably be happy too. I feel this way because when you achieve the American Dream, you truly have it all, an education, a career, a family, and a great life too.”

In conclusion, there it all is. Here is what college students and those with steady careers feel about the American Dream. Though I thought that the American Dream was just having tons of money and nice cars, some feel the same way to a certain extent. Many believe that it is a good thing to have a nice car and a nice house, but it isn’t the end of the world if you have a modest car and house. Having a healthy and happy family with a roof over your head are some of the mot important things to people in the world today. Not every person that has some type of success needs all of the material things that is portrayed Hollywood and other places like that.
Now, the American Dream in my eyes is what Thomas Jefferson had mentioned back when he was writing the Declaration of Independence. Jefferson saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit to happiness is what everyone really wants. The only difference is; what makes a person happy? These things can vary in many ways, but this is why it is called a pursuit to happiness. Before, I thought that the American Dream was being filthy rich and once again this quest of curiosity has changed my view of things. Now the American Dream, to me, is being happy in any way possible. This doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like to earn a good salary. If I don’t have large amounts I can still find happiness in other places, such as my loving family and my health.

A Bitter Sweet

It's finally the last week of the Spring semester. Am I excited? No not really. I'm not really excited because I have a whole lot of work that has to be done, and it really sucks. It doesn't help that I left all of this work for the last week of school either.

I decided to call it a bitter sweet because it's a good thing and at the same time it also a bad thing that school is over. It's a good thing because school is out. But when school is out that either means summer school or work. And both of those things aren't that much fun. So it comes down to are you really happy that school is over. Well my answer is yes because I can't take another day of sitting in class in this beautiful weather. I can be doing something better like sitting inside my own house watching television lol lol.

I'm not even considering April 30th as a day of school. I'm saying this because it is a Monday schedule and i only have one class that day. That class is economics and I sort of like that class for some reason. So in reality I'm not really mad that I have to stay in school for that day. But as soon as the class is over I'm out here, at least until finals which suck even more.

Another thing I found

What is the American Dream?
The term was first used by James Truslow Adams in his book The Epic of America which was written in 1931. He states: "The American Dream is "that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement. It is a difficult dream for the European upper classes to interpret adequately, and too many of us ourselves have grown weary and mistrustful of it. It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position." (p.214-215)

http://www.memory.loc.gov/learn/lessons/97/dream/thedream.html

Concert

Last night St. John's held a concert for the students. The concert included guests such as Voicemail, Juelz Santana, and the infamous Ne-Yo. It was a good outcome, but the way that they had everything arranged wasn't good at all. It was a mess trying to get in there, but it wasn't really that bad.

Now to the actual show. The show itself had sort of a slow start to it. The first two performances were not good at all, maybe because they sang the Jamaican music. I'm not saying that the music is bad, I just can't understand what the hell they are saying. After the first two performances the man himself came up on stage. Juelz Santana was the person that I was waiting to see the whole week. He's currently in the Dip Set crew, and those guys are awesome, even though Juelz is my second favorite in the group. When he came out the whole place went bananas. I found it amazing that a person can cause such a stir in a crowd of almost three thousand.

In honestly Juelz wasn't the one who got the most out of the crowd. The person who did this was Ne-Yo. Ne-Yo is a R&B singer and the man can sing his butt off. I thought that he wouldn't be as good as he sounds on television and on Cd's but he did sound very good. I wonder how many girls he gets, because all of the girls were basically crying in just seeing him. I don't know why I wrote that but who cares. All in all I enjoyed the concert very much and I can't until next year! Who's knows who they are going to bring out this time.

Whatever

I don't know what to write about, so I'm just going to write about whatever. I'm writing about the first things that come to head. Now that I think about it, it's kind of fun and it takes some time up. This is a good thing because I'm very bored right now and at the same time I'm not even close to being sleepy. I guess writing is kind of cool lol...That was a joke, please don't take any of that personal.

I kind of miss my mom. I haven't seen her in a pretty long time. I remember when I was younger I used to be the biggest momma's boy. I mean it was so bad that I never liked sleeping over friend's houses. That's how bad it was because during the middle of the night I would start crying and my mom would have to pick me up. I remember she would get very mad, but I didn't care because I would rather have a mad mom then not know that I was in the same place as her. I love her and I want her to know that I'll be home very soon. Though I want to tell her that some of the decisions that I'm going to be making this summer will probably not be approved by her. (I don't mean anything bad or anything, just some little things.)

Now look at that! Where did my mom come from all of this. That's the cool thing about writing. You don't know where it's going to take you. You can basically write about anything in the world. It doesn't matter just write about anything, because it's pretty cool.

Bringing it back

So tonight my friend and I decided to play some board games. You know the basic, Monopoly, Clue, and the infamous Trouble. As soon as I heard the name Trouble I jumped out of my seat and said, "hurry up, lets go get it." I couldn't wait to play it, so I went downstairs myself just in case anyone wanted to play it on the same night. But it was o.k., I got the game before anyone else even thought about it.

We played, and we played and we kept playing. And of course I just took over the game. I mean, I remember when I was younger, my grandmother bought me the game. After the day when shoe bought it, me and her bought the game on a constant level. It good at point where we would play for at least three hours straight. I would usually win because I think that she would let me, but that's not the point. I really miss her and I wish that she was here with me to play for hours and hours and hours of the day.

The point of the story is to tell you guys that the game Trouble is one of the best board games out there. You just basically get hooked on the game to the point that you don't want to stop playing. I love it and you guys should indulge in the game too lol. It's not that serious but try to bring back the old days because it doesn't hurt to look in the past sometimes.

A-Rod does it again

Alex Rodriguez, the best player in baseball hit another walk-off home run for the New York Yankees. I mentioned that he is the best player in the league and the history of baseball and I can back this up with all of his numbers. I would probably fill the whole blog with all of his stats, so I'll leave that until another day. With the way that he is playing he is going to break many records.

It was all fun and games when Alex hit the home run, but there is only one problem: I wasn't there to watch it. I was in my always fun Philosophy class during all of the good times of today's game. But as soon as I entered my dorm, I was paraded with phone calls and text messages. The way that people were calling and texting, you would think that the Yankees won the World Series.

It's a good feeling to know that Alex is finally having a good time playing baseball again. You can actually see him smile, which is something that you never saw during the season last year. He's put the past behind him and he's started to do what he does best. And that is play good, solid baseball. Yeah, he is going to have a spectacular year.

A whole lot of stuff

Today I was invited to go and meet my future dean in the Marillac Auditorium. I knew that it was going to be bad because I had no idea where the hell this place was. So after my English I went around asking everyone where it was. Some people were able to help while others had no idea what they were talking about. I thank all those for their help.

That's wasn't the only problem. The Deans started the program by introducing themselves and they came off kind of strict and mean. I don't know about you guys but when I hear the word "Dean" I think of restrictions and plain old mean people. (No offense but that is the way that I feel) Then after they had all introduced each other they began talking about all of the curriculum that was needed to enter the school of business. This is where my day went right down the drain.

They told me that in order to graduate in May of my senior, twelve to fifteen credits a semester will not be enough to graduate on time. Indeed, a have to take eighteen credits a few semesters before I graduate. I don't know how I'm going to do this because I struggle with only fifteen credits. That's going to be hell but I'm going have to do it. After that they mentioned all the classes that I need to take by the start of my junior year in order to start taking classes in my major. This basically brings me to the fact that I have to take a couple summer courses in order to graduate on time. I wish that they would let us know this stuff beforehand, because my schedule is going to have to change after all the information that I have received from these people.

When Does It End

There's about one week and a half left of school and I can't wait. But with this waiting there's a whole lot of stuff that I have to do until the end. I mean I have a whole lot of papers that need to be done and some tests here and there. I will like time go quick but it seems like this is the slowest two weeks of my life.

You see, there's a side of me that wants school to end, but there's an other side that doesn't want it to end. The other side consist of getting a job. My mother says not to worry if I can't find a job but I can't see myself just staying at home not doing anything. I need to keep busy wether I like it or not. That's just the what that I am, I guess. A lot of people are like that so I don't think that I'm the only one like that.

So do I really want school to end? The answer is yes. I'd rather work then be in school. I know that I say the opposite, especially when I get tired of working. But right now I'd rather be working then schooling. All the people who have steady a jobs and careers say that they would give anything to be in school rather than work. I just can't see that right now. Maybe when I finally grow older and wiser I can be on the same page as they are.

What a good guy

I had a night class today and as usual it sucked really bad. I mean the class is so damn long and the teacher does not have the power to keep me awake. So I find myself just surfing the web the entire class lol. Not that it's funny or anything but I have to do it so I won't go insane. But this is not the reason I'm writing this blog.

have you ever had a bad day but someone was there to make it a lot better? Well I wasn't really having a bad day but it was going that well. I went to the library to do some research for my theology class, and here's is what made me look at life differently. It came time for me to check out my books and the gentleman that was at the desk did his job. You know, he took my stormcard and signed the book out. The only thing was that he had asked me how I was doing and how my day wet. Then he continued and said, "Yeah so we only have two weeks huh." Of course I answered with a "Yeah man, I'm just counting down the days." I followed the remark with a laugh. I know it might seem corny, but I have never came across a guy that was nice (it was also ten at night-so he was probably tired from a days work) enough to start a conversation in the library. People now a days are butt-holes (excuse my French) and that has worn off on me a little.

Before college I used to be nice to a lot people. I'm not saying that I'm mean or anything but usually I would be able to be nicer to others in certain ways. The whole point of this is to show you guys how one person can change the way that you view things. Just a single "hello" or "how are you doing" can change a persons day. This man changed mine and I thank him for that because basically-He's a good guy and we need a lot more of those in the world. Not only guys but also girls are needed.

Sweet Home New Jersey

Back in September, when I started college I thought that there wasn't anything better than my home town in Jersey. I couldn't wait to go back home on the weekends. It's like I needed to be home or things just wouldn't feel right. And for the first semester this is what I would do every single weekend, and it felt good doing it too.

But now I barely go home on the weekends. I don't know what had happened. I always used to hang out with my friends when I would go home, but now I haven't seen them for about a month and a half. Even for Easter break, when I went, I didn't hang out with them at all. I don't know what happened really but I'm not really complaining. I'm not complaining because I don't feel a sense of loneliness or anything like that. I mean, I miss the guys but at the same time I don't. If one of my good friends were to read this they would get upset but hey, that's life.

You can say that I abanded them, but in actuality I didn't. I don't what I did, but there is always summer to hang, right? Hopefully things change and if it doesn't, it just doesn't. You have to live life one step at a time.

Sweet Home New Jersey

Back in September, when I started college I thought that there wasn't anything better than my home town in Jersey. I couldn't wait to go back home on the weekends. It's like I needed to be home or things just wouldn't feel right. And for the first semester this is what I would do every single weekend, and it felt good doing it too.

But now I barely go home on the weekends. I don't know what had happened. I always used to hang out with my friends when I would go home, but now I haven't seen them for about a month and a half. Even for Easter break, when I went, I didn't hang out with them at all. I don't know what happened really but I'm not really complaining. I'm not complaining because I don't feel a sense of loneliness or anything like that. I mean, I miss the guys but at the same time I don't. If one of my good friends were to read this they would get upset but hey, that's life.

You can say that I abanded them, but in actuality I didn't. I don't what I did, but there is always summer to hang, right? Hopefully things change and if it doesn't, it just doesn't. You have to live life one step at a time.

The Man

I never had that good of a relationship with my dad. I wasn't able to have such a good relationship because he would always be working while I was at home or either playing my sports. So when he did get home, he would be to tired from work and would usually go straight to bed. This didn't bother me or anything like that because I didn't think that I had any reason for it to bother me.

After some time (like 6 years) my parents got divorced. This was very hard for, but I found some way to get through. During the first year of the separation my relationship with my father was really going down hill. I couldn't really see eye to eye with him because I felt that he left my little sister and I. But after some time I grew up and noticed that all of this was happening for the better of things.

But now I grown very close with him. He's the Man. I mean i feel good around him whenever I'm around him. I find myself in awe with some of the things that he has accomplished as a person. I hope to accomplish at least half of the things that he has done. But forget about his success. I want to talk about all the love that my dad has in his heart. I can't even describe it.

For some reason I can't wait to call him up at night and just talk about whatever. I find myself counting down the hours until nine o'clock: which is the time that I usually call him up. No matter how bad or good my day has gone, talking with him makes everything so much better.

Changing the Conception of the American Dream

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:

Traditionally, Americans have sought to realise the American dream of success, fame and wealth through thrift and hard work. However, the industrialisation of the 19th and 20th centuries began to erode the dream, replacing it with a philosophy of "get rich quick". A variety of seductive but elusive strategies have evolved, and today the three leading ways to instant wealth are large-prize television game shows, big-jackpot state lotteries and compensation lawsuits. In this article, Matthew Warshauer, Professor of History at Central Connecticut State University, examines why so many Americans are persuaded to seek these easy ways to their dream.
Posted 13/02/2003

Rags to riches the traditional way: through thrift and hard workWho wants to be a millionaire?State lotteriesCompensation lawsuitsConclusionReferences
How does one achieve the American Dream? The answer undoubtedly depends upon one’s definition of the Dream, and there are many from which to choose. John Winthrop envisioned a religious paradise in a "City upon a Hill." Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed of racial equality. [1] Both men yearned for what they perceived as perfection. Scholars have recognized widely varying conceptions of these quests for American excellence.[2] One component of the American Dream seems, however, to be fairly consistent: the quest for money. Few will deny that Americans are intently focused on the “almighty dollar.” In a society dedicated to capitalism and the maxim that, “the one who dies with the most toys wins,” the ability to purchase a big house and a nice car separates those who are considered successful from those who are not.[3] Yet the question remains, how does one achieve this success? How is the Dream realized? For many Americans the formula is one of instant, albeit elusive, gratification. Rather than adhering to a traditional work ethic, far too many Americans are pinning their hopes on what they perceive as “easy” money. This article focuses on three phenomena in contemporary American society that have successfully captured the quest for the American Dream. Savvy marketers have convinced their audiences that a new wave of television game shows, lottery luck, and lucrative lawsuits are the way to wealth.

Possible survey

American Dream Survey:Circle Yes or No

1. Do you think that making a lot of money is important in life? Yes or No

2. Do you think being successful is a key aspect in life? Yes or No

3. Have you taken any steps to better your chance in becoming successful? Yes or No

4. Do you think that college is necessary to live a good life, economically? Yes or No

5. Is the American Dream having lots of money and a nice car? Yes or No

6. Do you think that if you attain the American Dream you are inevitably happy? Yes or No

Possible Interview-American Dream

Q. What do you think the American Dream is?

Q. How do you think others view the American Dream?

Q. When you lived in _______, how did you think the American would change your life?

Q. Do you think that you have succeeded in fulfilling the American Dream?

Q. What do you benefits do you receive in fulfilling the American Dream?

Q. Do you think that anyone can attain the American Dream?

Q. Do you believe that anyone, no matter their background can be able to live the American Dream .

Q. What is the easiest to live the American Dream?

Q. Do some people get lucky in this process of attaining the American Dream?

Q. Are you happy because you are living the American Dream? Do you think that if you live the dream you are automatically happy?

American Dream

Important American Dream Quotes

I have leaned this, at least, from my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
--Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

Objects of the most stupendous magnitude, measures in which the lives and liberties of millions, born and unborn are most essentially interested, are now before us.
--John Adams, arguing for American independence, July 1, 1776

This progress by which the poor, honest, industrious, and resolute man raises himself, that he may work on his own account, and hire somebody else, is that improvement in condition that human nature is entitled to, is that improvement that is intended to be secured by those institutions under which we live, is the great principle for which this government was formed.
--Abe Lincoln September 17, 1859

For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land. A land of wheat, and barley and vines, and fig trees and pomegranates; a land of oil olive and honey; A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shall not lack any thing in it; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou mayest dig brass.
--Deuteronomy 8:7-9, King James Bible, 1611

At its most compelling, California could be a moral premise, a prescription of what America could and should be. At its most trivial, it was a cluster of shallow dreams, venial hankerings which mistook laziness for leisure, selfishness for individualism, laxity for liberation, evasion and cheap escape for redemption and a solid second chance.
--Kevin Starr, Americans and the California Dream, 1973

When things go wrong

Have you ever woke up one morning in a bad mood? I know you have because if you haven't, then you're just weird. I mean everyone has one of those days and it's not a bad thing. Sometimes people need some of these days. For what reason, I don't know but everything happens for a reason, Right??

The only problem that I have right now is that I have had a lot of these days in my start of this new life-college. Ever since coming into college I have noticed that I have changed a lot. I've been in bad moods a lot more and I have some horrible days. And I hate when other people notice that I'm in one of these moods. I hate it because they always ask the question: What's wrong? I don't know about you but I hate when they do this. It actually makes me even more angry and I can say that my day gets even worse.

Recently, I had one of these days. But this time it was the worst. Usually throughout the day, things tend to get better. But on this particular day, starting from the morning, everything just mounted up on each other and seemed to get worse. I don't know what it is but I hope that things change man. I mean, I hate feeling like this but whatever it's not anything that bad. People have much worse than me.(My heart goes to those soldiers who are fighting for something that I'm not even sure of yet)

When things go wrong

Have you ever woke up one morning in a bad mood? I know you have because if you haven't, then you're just weird. I mean everyone has one of those days and it's not a bad thing. Sometimes people need some of these days. For what reason, I don't know but everything happens for a reason, Right??

The only problem that I have right now is that I have had a lot of these days in my start of this new life-college. Ever since coming into college I have noticed that I have changed a lot. I've been in bad moods a lot more and I have some horrible days. And I hate when other people notice that I'm in one of these moods. I hate it because they always ask the question: What's wrong? I don't know about you but I hate when they do this. It actually makes me even more angry and I can say that my day gets even worse.

Recently, I had one of these days. But this time it was the worst. Usually throughout the day, things tend to get better. But on this particular day, starting from the morning, everything just mounted up on each other and seemed to get worse. I don't know what it is but I hope that things change man. I mean, I hate feeling like this but whatever it's not anything that bad. People have much worse than me.(My heart goes to those soldiers who are fighting for something that I'm not even sure of yet)

Something that I'll never do

I don't think that I'll ever be able to join frat. I mean I have no idea what you get out of it. People say that they do it for the partying and stuff like that. But that doesn't even attract me. Others say that they join frats because they get to meet and know so many people that one day, when they're in the working they can find a job due to the fact that they know someone. I guess the job part is beneficial, but I believe if you want a job and you're qualified enough, there's a good chance of you getting that job.

I know someone that is in a frat and he went through hell. He told me that he would get home at late hours of the night. This long night included things like doing physical training. For what??? Is there any reason for these guys to do push ups and things like that? What does it really prove? I bet you that I'm in better shape then some of the guys who run the whole frat thing.

I mean I'm not even in a frat or anything and I already think that if I joined one-I would kill myself. Not literally so don't take that to heart; for some of you weirdos out there. The point is that I will never join a frat or anything like that. It's absurd and a waste of my time. At least for me. If you're already in a frat, there's no disrespect but you're crazy.

A little Sympathy

Alex Rodriguez for those who don't know about him; is a baseball player for the New York Yankees. Not only is he a player, but in fact he is star and has been a star ever since he came into the majors. He is one of the highest payed athletes in the world and he deserves every penny of it. Many might oppose to this statement but Alex does his job and he does it very well. The only problem is that he doesn't finish his job. Or at least he hasn't been able to finish it yet. This is the reason that Yankees fans love him and hate him.

Rodriguez can go a whole season and put up fantastic numbers. These numbers can consist of 40 home runs and 120-130 runs batted in. These are obviously MVP numbers and he actually won the MVP nearly two years ago. The only problem with these phenomenal numbers are that he puts them up in the regular season. When it comes down to crunch time he tends tend to fold like a chair (or whatever else folds) and the fans begin to hate. As soon as he makes one mistake in the post-season, A-Rod doesn't hear the end of it.

My solution to this problem that A-Rod has is to back him up when things are going that well. Say that he does strike out or make an error. It's better if you cheer him on so that maybe next time he can do better. I mean honestly! If someone, or in this case almost the entire world, gives you grief for making a mistake you're probably not going to be able to function the right way. All that I'm saying is that maybe if we back A-Rod up a little in the playoffs then maybe he can put up those great numbers like his partner in crime that plays right next to him in the infield: Derek Jeter.

Time to crack down

It's that time of year again. Yes, it's the time where school is coming to an end and really fast. The only problem is that it is a good thing, but at the same time it is also a bad thing. It's a good thing because finally, school is almost done with and summer is near. On the other hand, it's a bad thing because it's time to hand in all of our final papers. And the thing that we hate most is finals. This is another thing that brings me sorrow. lol...I'm sorry but I needed to say lol.

So the question is; do I really want school to end. You may think of the end of something being good, but when you have to worry about all of this crap you are pretty much screwed. I'm sorry for this language but tonight I really feel like expressing myself. I don't know if it caught your attention but I used a semicolon. I used because we have just learned about it in English class and I just want to give a shout out to my good friend Anthony who did the fantastic presentation that he and his group had done.

All kidding aside, I don't care. Bring on all of the work that you can give. If you think about it's only like two weeks of hell. This is nothing compared to what other people have to live with. Especially those soldiers in Iraq who are fighting for nothing. I'm not going to get into politics with the president and the war, but I just want to say that we hear have it easy. I don't care type of school that you're in including: undergraduate, graduate, law, and even medical school.

I might of gotten a little off track but the basis of this is to tell all you guys that it's crunch time baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time

Don't you hate when times just flies by. This happens especially when you are on a break from school or even work. At week off of school or work, can feel like one day. That really sucks because when you're in school for a week, the damn thing feels like an eternity. Am I right or what.

You cant put into better words; time flies when you're having fun. And guess what, school isn't fun at all. So don't expect for time to just go by like nothing.

Yanks

So yeah I was watching the Yankees today and the blew the game. Andy Pettite made his first Yankee appearance in a long time, and he did O.K. I mean he gave up three runs (while Jeter had an error) and I'm not really sure how many strikeouts he had. But he left in like the sixth inning with a tie game and some men on base. Then of course, the Yankee bullpen blew two runs. But then Matsui came up and batted in two runs to tie the game.

The game is tied, and you would think that I would end the story by saying that the Yankees will end up winning. No...Once again their bullpen led up a run. But the Yankees had another chance in the eight inning with the bases loaded. Abreu was up, but he grounded out. And the great Alex Rodriguez came up with two outs and the bases loaded. Yeah what else is knew, he popped out.

By now you are probably asking why I'm talking about this. The truth of the matter is that I'm just upset that the Yankees lost today. They need these types of wins to clinch the division. I don't want to go to the playoffs as a wild card because I would rather have the red hot Red Sox get knocked off by another team in the playoffs. Whatever!!!!!

Repeat

The Florida Gators won the basket National Championship. I knew since the beginning of the season that they were going to win it all again. Everyone said that Greg Oden was going to dominate the game. I guess you can say that he did but his team still did not win. He's good and all but Florida just basically has a better team.

So how do they feel? This time last year they won the same championship. A few months later the school's football won the national championship. Then today Florida basketball team repeated. I wonder what the school's atmosphere is like. I wish I was there because they're probably partying it up.

Reading, Writng, and Research

From the readings in the Vision Quest book on writing, research, and reading I have learned some new things on each topic. In the writing section, I really never knew how to become better writer, but it sure did answer my question. To become a better you have to keep writing a lot. It may seem like common sense but I have never realized this fact.

In the section of reading, I also learned that reading was used as a remedy to make one's life better with themselves and with God. Of course the Bible can help you be in better relationship with God, but all other types of readings can change a relationship of another by reading their writings. By reading a person's writing you can step into their worldview and take a look at how they see things.

You can agree with their worldview, or at times you can disagree. Only by reading are you able to get different views and try understanding them. I knew that research was just more in depth reading, and I have known that for years now. But taking the correct steps for the correct research, it can be very beneficial.

All the things that I wouldn't do

"If you always thought about all of the things that you had to do in an entire day, you wouldn't get up in the morning." This statement was said by a very bright man. A man who I met in my first year of college. He was my history teacher, and for some reason today I couldn't get his quote out of my head. I remember the day that he said it, but I don't remember why exactly he said it. I don' think that it has anything to do with history at all. But I don't care! It's still a great line.

I mean think about it. Say that you have five classes in one day. You probably dread that day but you still do it because you have to. Now let's say that with that, you have to go to the gym, and you have a part-time job. If you sit in bed the night before thinking about all of these things, then the next morning you might find yourself laying in bed for the whole day. Instead of doing thinking about all of your tasks for the day you should, instead, take your day a step at a time. Take the day as it comes to you and just basically live your life to the fullest. The Good Book (The Christian Bible) mentions that during Lent season you should not show signs of sorrow because of sacrifice. You should exactly go around with a smile on your face so that no one can even know that you're in a state of sacrifice.

So when you have a long day ahead of you try not to be in a bad mood from the start. It actually helps your day go by much faster and better.Why did I right this, I don't know. But I thought that everyone should know about this.....For some reason that I don't know

If I can only tell the future

If I was able to tell the future I would use it for only one thing. I mean I know that I would probably use it for a lot of other things, but right I have one real concern. This is to know where I am going to be right after I finish college. I might get a good job and start making plenty of money real fast. This is something that almost everyone wants, so I cant sit here and lie to you that money doesn't mean that much too me. Because it is a big part of life, whether you like it or not.

On the other hand I can even not finish college and be left without a job. Especially a job that doesn't pay well at all. This situation, I think, is the worst outcome. Now is the time when I wish I had some type of special powers to look into the future. Having this gift is very beneficial. It's beneficial because if you can see that you are going to struggle in the future, you can find ways to ease those struggles.

The fact that I will not succeed is one of the worst things that I have in the back of my mind. If I do make through all of college but I still don't find a good job would be very heartbreaking. There really isn't a way (that I know of) to make sure that I will be "very" successful in life. If there, please let me know because that would make my life ten times easier.

I just won't be able to stand the fact that if I work my butt off through college and some way some how I still can't get that dream job.

Dewey's Quote

At this very instant, I'm not really sure what John Dewey means by chains. By chains, he can by trying to say something like something holding down a person. It may also mean having something right in front of you but it is hard to get to because of its chains. So in fact, you have to work harder to get to that something.

Now the two facts that I have mentioned can be, and is probably wrong. But I have come up with a new idea in which why Dewey wrote this. What he means by chains is probably having a family. Your family, for the most part stay together and is very hard to break, like a chain. We get used to this "chain" because family is always there for you when times are hard. When those chains are removed, we tend to miss them.

Intelligent Self Direction

To me, intelligent self-direction means that some way some how I can learn things on my own. I have the ability as a student to learn something on my own, but there is an ingredient that I need. This ingredient is a teacher. I believe that a teacher is needed only to help guide you on this direction. It is obvious that a teacher knows a lot, and if he/she doesn't then at least that person knows a little bit about something. The intelligent self-direction will not work unless you have some guidance. But too much guidance would just counter the idea of self-direction.

Other things needed

I think that are four things that are needed for this class. The first thing is an open mind. Sources such as people in which you can access at all time. The third thing that you may need can be a sense of what to know about more thing, therefore you question a lot more. The last thing that you need, and it is something that I think is important is the ability to want to write and to research.

Pancakes

A lot of people love pancakes. But I think that pancakes are really over rated. Everyone loves places like IHOP and other diners of the sort, but I'm really such a big fan of it. I mean the taste of pancakes just makes me sick. Every pancake that I have ever tasted always had that same old taste. It's a dry taste and at times you are able to taste the flour that was used to make the pancake. They are just something that is not for me.

I would rather have french toast on any day. French toast is so much better and I know a lot of people who still prefer pancakes. but those people are wack. So next time that you go to IHOP, do not order that pancakes. Order the french toast because by eating it your day would go by so much better.

*Results may vary

Thank God

Thank God for spring break. I really need this break for some reason. Most of the upper class men that I know say that the spring semester goes by really fast, but I disagree. For some reason this semester is dragging a lot and the each day goes by really slow. It could be because I can't wait for summer but in the summer I actually have to get a steady jog. And that sucks because I was just want to hang out. But at the same time if I were to stay at home the whole summer and do nothing, I would probably feel like garbage.

Back to school feeling so long this semester; it really stinks and that's why I'm glad that we have this week off. This week I'm just going to relax and nothing even think about school at all. The only school work that I am going to be doing is blogging. Blogging is actually fun at times so it's not that bad. But I refuse to pick up a book and read. I'll leave that until I go back to school where I actually I have to read something. I wish that we can read some cool stuff in college like, I don't even know, just something better than what we already read.

So this spring break I going to be awesome and I know that it is going to go by very fast. I know it already....

Gotta Stay In Shape

Staying in shape is one of the hardest things that a person can do. I mean especially while you are in college.

It's probably so hard because of several reasons. The first reason that I can give you is the food at dining hall and other places around campus. I'm not saying that it is bad or anything like that, but it's just very unhealthy. Sometimes they may have some vegetables of some sort but usually its very unhealthy food. Another reason is because people are just plain lazy (like myself) and decide not to go to the gym. Listen, it's hard when the gym is all the way across campus and you live in Donovan Hall which is the furthest from it. If people asked my I didn't go to the gym on a certain day I would usually respond with an excuse like, "man it's to cold" or " I'm just too tired."

But enough is enough. People in college have to start getting back into shape. The whole freshman fifteen really scared me to death. I just can't see myself gaining fifteen pounds. And for those who have gained some weight, just try to hit the gym as much as possible. At least try going 3 times a week. Then hope fully it gets easier and easier as times goes by.

I think that staying in shape is very important. When you're in shape you feel good about yourself and life is a lot better.

Final Draft Of My Report

Divorce

Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. Rather in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I knew what was going on but my little sister, who was about eleven years old wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. For her it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple of years to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.

You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the same way that they used to be. When this happens it is usually a time for a change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sounds crazy but I think that it is smart because the element of surprise can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never known that my parents where going through these hard times. The last thing that I was thinking about was that they needed to be separate from each other during this so called hard times. When it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would have destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.

When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened. I still tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother seemed like none of what happened was her fault. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault; but who was I to try to determine who was right and who was wrong. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used too. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t his fault. He said that the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was wrong and who was right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.

Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (dictionary) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (wikipedia)

Rather than giving my point of view of how I see divorce, I decided to go out and see how others felt about this topic. Divorce is a very sensitive issue, so I had to find the correct person for the job. It took me a couple of days, but a friend that I have met in my first year of school was up for the task. His name is Mark and his parents have been divorced since he was an infant. To be exact, they got divorced when he was only three months old. Due to the fact that he was only 3 months old when this occurred, I had to restrict some of the questions which I thought were the most important.

I began by asking Mark how his life has been affected by his parents’ divorce. He answered by saying, “You basically have to listen to one person. You can only get one opinion, and that’s from the person that you live with. I think that it totally contradicts what a family should be. In a family, both parents have a say on what the regulations should be and how the rules should be set.” Mark also claimed that when parents are divorced there are always certain changes. You get to see how different both of the parents are. Mark says, “My mom is the total opposite from my dad. If I like something, no matter the price, my mom would say that it’s mine and she would get it for me. Now on the other hand, if I was with my dad it would be totally different. If I liked something and I wanted it, I would need the approval of my dad because if he doesn’t like it then there isn’t a good chance of me getting that.” I then decided to ask him if the divorce was best for both of his parents. When I asked him that he quickly responded with a Yes. At a time, he went to live with his dad for a while and said that it wasn’t the same as living with his mother. He said that it was easier adapting with his mother because it is much easier to get along with her.

When parents are divorced and no longer live with each other, it is hard for them to get together on occasions for their children. There is a weird vibe between both of them and the outcome isn’t usually good. Mark told me a story of how his parents weren’t getting along at his high school graduation, and literally made it a “living hell” for him. From past experiences, it is safe to say that I and many others can relate to this.

Usually in a divorce the mother gets custody of the children. Sometimes this might not be the case. There have been situations where the father receives custody of the child. This may be due to the fact that the mother is in no condition to care for children or circumstances of that nature. In Mark’s case his mother had full custody of him. He says that he was better off living with his mother because they have a great relationship and it is very easy for them to get along with each other. His mother is very open with him and he feels that if he were to live with his father, things wouldn’t be same.

The final question that I had for Mark was one that I think was very important. I asked him how his parents felt about each other. At first he hesitated, but finally answered by saying, “I think that my dad has some issues about the way that my mother raises me. He feels that my mother is doing wrong by buying me all of the things that she buys me. But my mother doesn’t care and she says that the way she raises me is the right way. My mother and I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with my father, so right now I’m fine with the way that I’m living.”
After finding out how Mark felt about these things, I decided to go out and interview someone whose parents are not divorced. I really wanted to get the best of both worlds and this was the way to do it. The person who I interviewed was a good cousin of mine named John. John and I have been best friends since the day that we were born, but I never really knew how he felt about his parents and this was the best time for me to find out. As I mentioned before his parents are currently together with four kids. I called him over the phone and I asked John how his relationship was with both of his parents living together. He answered by saying, “I think that I have the best parents in the world. They are great people and I can’t see myself living without either of them. I don’t even want to know what it would be like if they were to get a divorce because it would be very hard on me.” John says that his parents get along great. He knows that they have a lot of love for each other just by the way the act around the house. While laughing he said that he can always feel the love in the house when they aren’t home. Like my friend Mark said, a good relationship is found where two people are able to talk with each other and both of them are considerate of each other. This is what John’s parents do best and it might be the reason that they are so happy and not divorced.

I then decided to go out on a limb, and I asked him how things would change if his parents were to get divorced. “If they were to get divorced, my family would not be able to function right. My brothers and I would be lost without one of them” he replied. This doesn’t always happen when parents get divorced but there is still a good chance of it happening. He summed it all up by saying that he feels bad for families who are divorced. He says that he just can’t see one parent raising a child or children the same way both parents can.

Doing this interview opened my eyes for me. I was so narrow headed before, thinking that divorce wasn’t necessary. I thought that if two people got married and had children during their marriage, divorce was totally out of the picture. But these to gentlemen showed me that divorce is necessary in some situations. When my parents got divorced I immediately blamed it on one of the parents. I’m not going to mention which parent it was. Now I can’t lie, I held a grudge on one of them for a very long time. It was wrong to do that but now I know that people get divorce for the better of things. My parents got divorced because they weren’t happy with each other anymore. Why would you be with someone that doesn’t make you happy anymore? I finally see what happened between both of them and I am very disappointed that it took me this long to realize it. I really can’t be mad at myself because you live and you learn. The older you get the wiser you get. I guess that I was just being hard headed before because I knew that I wouldn’t see my father as much as I used too.

Basically, the reason I decided to write this report on divorce was because I don’t really talk about it with others. I feel that I had to get all of this off my chest and share it with other people. By the way I’m writing it may seem like I’m just feeling bad for myself. You should now the answer and if you don’t know it’s, that I’m not feeling bad for myself. I know that there are tons of kids that are in my shoes and maybe if they read this, some way it can help them out. Hopefully if I ever get married and have kids, I don’t want my kids to go through what I have gone through.

Stress

I wonder how many people suffer from stress. I'm not talking about one specific stress. I mean all kinds of stress in general. Like stress from their children, work, and even sports teams. But the stress that I want to focus on right now is the stress that comes from college. This may be interesting to others so I don't think that I'm on an island on this one.

College, for me, has its highs and lows. It the best time of your life when it is in the highs. But when it comes times for test like "midterms" it can be a living hell. Many suffer from stress from these knd of things. I know that I do becuase I have gone crazy in this week alone during midterms. And it wasn't only this time around. I can remember clearly last year when it came time for midterms and finals. I was going crazy because of all the reading and studying that had to be done. I can imagine what it would be like if I was a science major or something of that nature.

I would really like to know how to relieve some of this. I tried listening to music and other things lke that. But it doesn't really work. All I know is that by the end of my college career I am going to find out how to make things easier during midterms and finals

Report #2

Divorce

Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)
Rather than giving my point of view of how I see divorce, I decided to go out and see how others feel about this topic. Divorce is a very sensitive issue, so I had to find the correct person for the job. It took me a couple days, but a friend that I have met in my first year of school was up for the task. His name is Mark and his parents have been divorced since he was an infant. To be exact, they got divorced to when he was only three months old. Due to the fact that he was only 3 months old when this occurred, I had to restrict some of the questions which I thought were the most important.
I began by asking Mark how his life has been affected by his parents’ divorce. He answered by saying, “You basically have to listen to one person. You can only get one opinion, and that’s from the person that you live with. I think that it totally contradicts what a family should be. In a family, both parents have a say on what the regulations should be and how the rules should be set.” Mark also claimed that when parents a divorced there are always certain changes. You get to see how different both of the parents are. Mark says, “My mom is the total opposite from my dad. If I like something, no matter the price, my mom would say that its mine and she would get it for me. Now on the other hand, if I was with my dad it would be totally different. If I liked something and I wanted it, I would need the approval of my dad because if he doesn’t like it then there isn’t a good chance of me getting that. I then decided to ask him if the divorce was best for both of his parents. When I asked him that he quickly responded with a Yes. At a time, he went to live with his dad for a while and said that it wasn’t the same as living with his mother. He said that it was easier adapting with his mother because it is much easier to get along with her. When parents are divorced and no longer live with each other, it is hard for them to get together for occasions for their children. There is a weird vibe between both of them and the outcome isn’t usually good. Mark told me a story of how his parents weren’t getting along at his high school graduation, and literally made it a “living hell” for him. From past experiences, it is safe to say that I and many others can relate to this.
Usually in a divorce the mother gets custody of the children. In Mark’s case, this was true for him. He says that he was better off living with his mother because they have a great relationship and it is very easy for them to get along with each other. His mother is very open with him and he feels that if he were to live with his father, things wouldn’t be same.
The final question that I had for Mark was one that I think is very important. I asked him how his parents felt about each other. At first he hesitated, but finally answered by saying, “I think that my dad has some issues about the way that my mother raises. He feels that my mother is doing wrong by buying me all of the things that she buys me. But my mother doesn’t care and she says that the way she raises me is the right way. My mother and I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with my father, so right now I’m fine with the way that I’m living.
After finding out how Mark felt about these things, I decided to go out and interview someone whose parents are not divorced. I really wanted to get the best of both worlds and this was the way to do it. The person who I interviewed was a good cousin of mine named John. John and I have been best friends since the day that we were born. But I never really knew how he felt about his parents (not in a negative way) and this was the best time for to find out. As I mentioned before his parents are currently together with four kids. So I asked John how his relationship was with both of his parents. He answered by saying, “I think that I have the best parents in the world. They are great people and I can’t see myself living without both of them. I don’t want to know what it would be like if they were to get a divorce because it would be very hard on me.” John says that his parents get along great. He knows that they have a lot of love for each other just by the way the act around the house. While laughing he said that he can always feel the love in the house when they are home. Like my friend Mark said, a good relationship is found where two people are able to talk with each other and both of them are considerate of each other. This is what John’s parents do best and it might be the reason that they are so happy and not divorced.
I then decided to go out on a limb, and I asked him how things would change if his parents were to get divorced. “If they were to get divorced, my family would not be able to function right. My brothers and I would be lost without one of them” he replied. This doesn’t always happen when parents get divorced but there is still a good chance of this happening. He summed it all up by saying that he feels bad for families who are divorced. He says that he just can’t see one parent raising a child or children the same way both parents can.
Doing this interview opened my eyes for me. I was so narrow headed before, thinking that divorce wasn’t necessary. I thought that if two people got married and had children during their marriage divorce was totally out of the picture. By these to gentlemen showed me that divorce is necessary in some situations. When my parents got divorced I immediately blamed it on one of the parents. I’m not going to mention which parent it was but I can’t lie that I held a grudge on one of them for a very long time. It was wrong to do that but now I know that people get divorce for the better of things. My parents got divorced because they weren’t happy with each other anymore. Why would you be with someone that doesn’t make you happy anymore? I finally see what happened between both of them and I am very disappointed that it took me this long to realize it. But I can’t be mad at myself because you live and you learn. The older you get the wiser you get. I guess that I was just being hard headed before because I knew that I wouldn’t see my father as much as I used too.
Basically, the reason I decided to write this report on divorce was because I don’t really talk about it with others. I feel that I had to get all of this off my chest and share it with other people. By the way I’m writing it may seem like I’m just feeling bad for myself. You should now the answer and if you don’t know it’s, that I’m not feeling bad for myself. I know that there are tons of kids that are in my shoes and maybe if they read this, some way it can help them out. Hopefully if I ever get married and have kids, I don’t want my kids to go through what I have gone through.

Divorce Questions

Divorce Interview

Q.How has having your parents divorced affected your lifestyle?

A.You only have opinion one person to make the rules and law down the law which contrast to married parents where they have to comprise rules and regulations.

Q.Did you see any dramatic changes when they did get divorced?

A.There’s is a lot of changes. Both parents are different people. Mom is like, if you like it that I don’t care…but Dad is like if you like and he doesn’t like then he won’t get it for you.

Q.Do you think that they were better off getting divorced? If yes why?

A.Yes. because after visiting my dad and living with him for a little I can adapt better with mom because I can adapt better with my mom and I can get along much better with her. I know they can’t get along at all. My graduation was hell because they can’t get along at all.

Q.With whom do you currently live with? How is your relationship with that person? How is your relationship with the parent that you don’t live with?

A.Currently live with my mom. Both get along great…Great time with each other and be very open with each because we are able to tell each other everything.

Q.How do both of your parents feel about each other at the time? What is there relationship like?

A.I think that my dad sees issues about the way she raises me like buying things and my mom knows that it is better that I live with her because she knows that I wouldn’t be able to live with him.

Boredom

Sometimes I just get really bored. It may sound kind of weird right now but I felt like I had to talk about this. I get bored a lot, especially now that I am in college. I feel like at times, I just have to much time on my side. But in actuality, I have work to be done, but I can always get that done anytime.

Like this past weekend. I think almost everyone that I know who goes to St. John's went home for the weekend. That was the worst because, I was stuck here basically by myself with nothing to do. But one of my friends did stay here and that was cool of him. I mean its kind of hard to go out when its only you and one of your friends. It's just a better time when you go out with the whole crew. The atmosphere is just ten times better.

Back to the boredom thing. I just never been so bored ever since i have come to college. Sometimes I wish that all of my friends from home can come to this school because I can't remember being this bored when I was at home.

Divorce

Divorce

Divorce is something in today’s world that occurs frequently, and its rate is still rapidly growing. I’m going to start off by giving you some of my viewpoints on divorce and how it has affected me. Both of my parents divorced each other when I was around the age of fifteen. Some say that it is better to have your parents divorce when you are younger because you are not at the age to know exactly what is going on. But in my case, I was well at the age to know what horrible situation was going on with my parents. At the time I fully knew what was going on but my little sister, who at the time was about eleven wasn’t able to comprehend what exactly was going on. In her case it was actually better, due to the fact that she still had a couple to realize that her parents were not going to be with each other anymore.
It was a whole process before the divorce actually happened. You saw certain things around the house change. These things consisted of your parents coming home from work in bad moods more often. You hear and sometimes see them fight with each other for things that little children would fight over. At times your parents would not even say a word to each other for days and still act like everything alright. The one that would often amaze me was when I would ask one my parents about the other and they would reply by saying, “I don’t really care about what he/she does.” When you hear something like that as I young teenager, I don’t know if you take that as a joke or as something going terribly wrong is your house. So in fact I took it as something going terribly wrong.
You see, I don’t want to say that I am a brilliant kid, but I knew that something was not right with my parents. Maybe some parents are better than others when it comes to hiding the fact that their relationship is diminishing. It can even be that they want their older kids to see that things aren’t the way that they used to be and that maybe it was time for change. In a way, I think that this is better to do because in the long run it is better for the children. It sound crazy but I think that it is smart because element of surprise (especially in this situation) can be very crucial and someone can end up getting hurt badly. For instance, I had never knew that my parents where going through these hard times and they needed to be separate from each, when it came time for me to find out that they could no longer be together it would of destroyed me. The only difference is that it did not occur because I was wise enough to know that a change needed to happen or else the atmosphere in the house would not get any better.
When the day came for my mother to tell me what is exactly was going on, I just brushed it off like nothing ever happened and I tried to continue my life the way that I had been living it. Receiving the whole speech from my mother, it seemed like it wasn’t her fault at all. I felt like she was trying to tell me that the reason for all this was because of my father and all of his actions. Once again as a wise teenager I knew that this couldn’t be his entire fault. But who was I to try to see who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I was just a kid trying to figure out why his parents, who he loved dearly didn’t love each other nearly as much as they used. Now, when it came down to my father telling me what was going on with him and his soon to be ex-wife, I actually got the same speech of how it wasn’t really his fault, but the way that my mother was acting wasn’t right. Hearing both sides of the story made me think about something that I couldn’t get off my mind. If they both were blaming each other, how am I ever going to find out who was actually wrong and who was actually right. This is something that still haunts me today and hopefully one day I will realize what went wrong with these two people.
Divorce is a judicial declaration dissolving in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. (www.dictionary.com) With this definition, many are able to see a husband’s and wife’s relationship dissolving from a long period of time before the actual divorce comes into play. A divorce can be compared with an annulment, which is a declaration that claims a marriage to no longer exist but the effects of marriage can be recognized in such organizations like child custody, child support, and distribution of property. In the twentieth century, divorce rates have sky rocketed in many developed countries. The countries in which divorce has become quite common has been the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union. The acceptance of the single parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside of marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. (www.wikipedia.com)

High VS. Low Conflict Marriages

People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics. (High vs. Low Conflict Marriages
People who choose divorce often say that the decision was made because of wanting what was best for their children. A number of marriage and family experts do agree that under certain circumstances it can be in the child's best interest in the long run for some parents to separate or divorce. This is particularly true for children who live with parents who have what is referred to as a "high conflict" marriage meaning that the couple frequently engages in hostile, aggressive and destructive fighting. However, it is estimated that only 30% of divorces occur under these circumstances. Approximately 70% of all divorces end "low conflict" marriages. Many experts believe that these are marriages that could potentially be saved, and that continuing the marriage would not produce more negative stress for the child than would ending the relationship.
Paul R. Amato of the University of Nebraska, Lincoln states, "In the low-conflict marriages, parents do not hate each other. Many are bored, and their marriages could be salvaged."
The research found that when children from divorces in low-conflict marriages reach adulthood they often experience increased psychological distress, reduced happiness, fewer ties with family and friends and reduced marital quality.
If many of these marriages could be salvaged why are so many people opting for divorce? It is speculated that Americans are leaving their marriages earlier and more frequently than in the past because of an increase in social acceptance of divorce, the ease with which divorces can be obtained and because of unrealistic expectations. Other factors contributing to divorce include a decline in the value of commitment, a growing "me first" mentality and the belief that divorce, apart from infidelity and unfaithfulness, is not really a "sin". After all, how could God possibly want someone He loves to "suffer" for the rest of their life in a marriage that isn't making them happy?
One additional important factor to consider when examining the reasons why so many people are divorcing today is that they do not fully understand the damage that can occur in their own life or in the lives of their children. If you are in a marriage that you believe is going nowhere and your needs are not being met, take the time to carefully understand some of the facts about divorce before you seriously consider it as a possible solution to your marital problems.
Recently, The Heritage Foundation published a report on the effects of divorce on America1. Below is a summary of some of the effects of divorce identified in that report along with other relevant facts and statistics.(http://www.flc.org/hfl/marriage/mar-flf03.htm)

Divorce

Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse.
It can be contrasted with an annulment, which is a declaration that a marriage is void, though the effects of marriage may be recognized in such unions, such as spousal support or Alimony, child custody, child support, and distribution of property.
In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the states in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, South Korea, and members of the European Union, with the exception of Malta (where all civil marriages are for life, because civil divorce is banned). In the USA, Canada, the United Kingdom, and some other developed Commonwealth countries, this divorce boom developed in the last half of the twentieth century. In addition, acceptance of the single-parent family has resulted in many women deciding to have children outside marriage, as there is little remaining social stigma attached to unwed mothers in some societies. Japan retains a markedly lower divorce rate, though it has increased in recent years. The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology.
A divorce must be certified by a court of law, as a legal action is needed to dissolve the prior legal act of marriage. The terms of the divorce are also determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses have agreed on privately. Often, however, the spouses disagree about the terms of the divorce, which can lead to stressful (and expensive) litigation. A less adversarial approach to divorce settlements has emerged in recent years, known as mediation, an attempt to negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce)